Posts Tagged ‘Shit talk

06
Oct
09

Metallica Not Sucking Like a Turbo-charged Hoover!

I pretty much abhor all metal, so it was with a great amount of trepidation that I clicked play on this video:

This is one of my favorite songs of the Southern sub-genre of classic rock, and that’s saying something. Especially since other bands in that group with Lynrd Skynrd are The Outlaws, Marshall Tucker, The Allman Brothers, ZZ Top and Molly Hatchet. Anyway, I figured they’d give it the heavy metal ballad treatment and I can’t think of anything worse. An old friend of mine named Jake Berger (original guitar player for psychobilly band “The Belmont Playboys”, if he sounds familiar to you) always bemoaned the existence of the metal ballad and I couldn’t agree more. And Jake is more metal than any of you fuckers. Aside from LA native Hetfield faking a Southern twang, they did a good job with this though,  so kudos to you Metallica for not totally sucking!

08
Aug
09

I know what you’re thinking…

…it’s Saturday/Sunday and we’re updating. I’m confused too. Anyway, while surfing old people music on youtube, I came across what I believe to be Marilyn Manson’s role model. Too bad Marilyn missed the boat on making good music like this guy did.

08
Jul
09

Rolling Stone can suck it.

Uncle Reg and I just got into a discussion about their Top 100 Guitarists of All Time list. This isn’t the first time we’ve discussed this travesty, and it wont be the last. I don’t seem to understand the constant riding of Kurt Cobain’s dick. I REALLY don’t understand why Jack White gets to much cred, either. The really mind baffling shit is the order of rest of these musicians. There are some very talented guitar players on this list, and then there are guitar GODS on it as well. Let’s look at ridiculousness:

#7 Stevie Ray Vaughan – I could have sworn he was number 4 a few years ago. While it was hard for me to accept three guitarists have played an axe better than SRV, it was a reasonable three. Now there are 6. What the fuck?

#16 Johnny Ramone – I don’t give a shit about history. Redundancy is the worst. If there was a top 500 list, he’d be 498. Just ahead of C.C. Deville, and whoever played guitar in qatweasel.

#22 Mike Bloomfield – Who?

#27 Mark Knopfler – What a joke. This man is a top 10. His fingertips don’t bleed when he plays. Got that, Clapton?

#50 Pete Townsend – Pedophile.

#70 Eddie Van Halen – Unjustified. I think after the top 10, they just started calling out names. Well, none of these fucking editors have really given a listen to “Beat It,” let alone an entire Van Halen record. Rolling Stone sucks.

#83 Neil Young – If he gave a shit, there would be murder/suicide headlines everywhere.

#96 Angus Young – It’s as if AC/DC was a one hit wonder, and they never made Back in Black.

#100 Kim Thayil – I’m sure this had something to do with him fading into even more obscurity.

So, Rolling Stone is for retards. Where the fuck is Dimebag?




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