Posts Tagged ‘Rock

10
Nov
09

Steven Tyler starring in his own real-life remake of “grumpy old men”!

So unless you’ve been either living under a rock or don’t give a shit (i fall under the latter category), you’ve no doubt heard Steven Tyler quit Aerosmith. His now former bandmates heard about it over the internet. FAUX PAS Steven! We know you’re old, but you should still remember your break-up etiquette. I now have a theory that his previous 2 accidents were no accident at all. He knew an actual break-up would be ugly and awkward so he tried to end it. Watch the video and decide for yourself!

10
Nov
09

Suck it, Barry Manilow

Barry Manilow once did a sappy song called “I Write the Songs”. Sorry, I used the word “sappy” in a sentence mentioning Manilow and that’s flat-out redundant. Anyway, if he was in any way referring to himself, he was woefully wrong. There was a time when I would have said that song should have been dedicated to Jimmy Webb. Webb wrote “Witchita Lineman”, “MacArthur Park”, Galveston”, “Up, Up and Away”, “The Worst That Could Happen”, “All I Know” and “By the Time I Get to Phoenix” among many others. I thought he pretty much had “best songwriter ever” wrapped up. But the other night I was surfing youtube for 3 Dog Night Videos because I lead a very exciting life. While reading the info sidebar on “Eli’s Coming”, I see that it was written by a woman named Laura Nyro. Turns out she also wrote “And When I Die” (at age 17, no less), “Stone Soul Picnic” and “Wedding Bell Blues”. Her list of hits is a little shorter than Webb’s, but where she really outshined him was in performing. Webb’s voice isn’t offensive by any means, but he’s just not as dynamic as Laura Nyro was. Yes, the past tense; she died in 1997 at age 49 of ovarian cancer. I’m not going to post a video of Jimmy Webb performing. If you like any of his songs that I mentioned and want to hear him do his version, there’s some on youtube; indulge your own masochistic tendencies. Here’s Laura Nyro, though, performing her song “Poverty Train” at The Monterey Pop Festival in 1967:

In non-music news: Dear Jay Leno, you are the singularly most non-funny person that I have ever seen doing comedy for a living. As long as it doesn’t involve sucking dick amazingly well, how’d you pull that off?

06
Oct
09

Metallica Not Sucking Like a Turbo-charged Hoover!

I pretty much abhor all metal, so it was with a great amount of trepidation that I clicked play on this video:

This is one of my favorite songs of the Southern sub-genre of classic rock, and that’s saying something. Especially since other bands in that group with Lynrd Skynrd are The Outlaws, Marshall Tucker, The Allman Brothers, ZZ Top and Molly Hatchet. Anyway, I figured they’d give it the heavy metal ballad treatment and I can’t think of anything worse. An old friend of mine named Jake Berger (original guitar player for psychobilly band “The Belmont Playboys”, if he sounds familiar to you) always bemoaned the existence of the metal ballad and I couldn’t agree more. And Jake is more metal than any of you fuckers. Aside from LA native Hetfield faking a Southern twang, they did a good job with this though,  so kudos to you Metallica for not totally sucking!

21
Sep
09

Rammstein Video vs. Cream Video: Wonder What Kanye Thinks?

So there’s a bit of a difference between music videos shot in the 60’s and videos shot today. Although this is taken from a TV show, it’s not just the normal lip-sync; it’s an actual music video pre-dating MTV by about 13 years. This is a song that even Clapton allegedly doesn’t like and he clearly doesn’t appear to be enjoying himself. Neither do the frogs (don’t ask me “why frogs?”, it was 1968. Figure it out.). At least Ginger Baker seems to be having a blast and there don’t appear to be any naked women.

31
Aug
09

Neil Young wants you to buy this for us

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It’s true. I have it on good authority that Neil himself wants someone to buy the Neil Young Archives, Vol. 1 for me, and maybe one for Alfonso, too. 128 tracks of Neil, 48 of which are previously unreleased, covering the years 1963 to 1972. This includes several tracks from a group Neil was in called the Squires before he ever came to the USA. The blu-ray edition comes with a 236 page hardcover book, a poster and a wealth of other media and related information about the songs and that period of Neil’s life. A link to downloadable mp3’s of the recordings is also provided, so you can share them on the net put them on your iPod. It’s designed to be update-able, so as new archival footage/tracks/info becomes available, it can be revised. If anyone had any doubts that Neil Young was a techno-geek (even after the lincvolt project), I think they can lay them aside now. If they would also lay aside $300 and buy me the blu-ray edition, that would be great.

24
Aug
09

Motor City Madman? definitely.

Ted Nugent is one crazy motherfucker, this is a known fact. He thinks gun ownership should be unrestricted and homosexuality is “morally wrong”. On the Iraqi War issue, he says, “Our failure has been not to Nagasaki them.” I encourage anyone to read up on Ted; there are many more lovable quotes to be found. My favorite came during a concert appearance. For some reason, he had a machine gun on stage and was waving it about and said:

Obama, he’s a piece of shit. I told him to suck on my machine gun. Hey Hillary, You might want to ride one of these into the sunset, you worthless bitch.

Oh Ted, you rascal! At least when he says things like that, I can always go and listen to this, the best angry song ever written, and he’s back to semi-okay in my book:

21
Aug
09

UK Dude Sets World Record for Banging on Drum All Day

Lets face it: most drummers bang lots of sticks so they can bang lots of chicks. What? It’s true. Not Phil Knight, though.

Knight, a drummer from Ainslie Wood Road, Chingford (um, somewhere in England… pip pip cheerio!), drummed non-stop for 102 hours and 53 minutes, which, pending Guinness confirmation, beats the previous world record.

Phil Knight

But this bangfest wasn’t for Guinness glory, and it wasn’t for the chicks. Well, it sorta was. He was raising money to help female victims of trafficking, rape and genocide. “I saw an exhibition showing how trafficked women are forced to sleep with 40 or 50 men a night, are beaten, chained up and only paid money to buy condoms and tissues with,” he said.

A very noble cause! And one that will most certainly get him laid. Nice work, Phil.




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