Archive for the 'General' Category


adventures in IM’s with alfonso and uncle reg

I kind of despise those soul-less note machines Steve Vai and Ingwie Maalmsteen. Read all about it:

uncle reg (10:24:25 PM): fuck steve vai

uncle reg (10:24:38 PM): vai will NEVER play like that

uncle reg (10:25:19 PM): stevie dedicated that to everyone suffering

uncle reg (10:25:26 PM): i think he meant vai fans

alfonso zayas (10:29:26 PM): hahahahhahahaha

alfonso zayas (10:29:57 PM): did you say SRV was your fave?

uncle reg (10:31:37 PM): favorite guitar player, yes

Continue reading ‘adventures in IM’s with alfonso and uncle reg’


Sorry, Barry.

I’d like to apologize to Barry Manilow for taking a shot at him a few posts back. I just listened to his song “Could It Be Magic?” and found the intro quite pleasing.

Oh wait. Found out that intro was based on “Prelude in C Minor” by Chopin. Nevermind. Also turns out that his other hit “I Write the Songs” wasn’t written by him. I love the irony of that, but please continue sucking it, Barry.


Suck it, Barry Manilow

Barry Manilow once did a sappy song called “I Write the Songs”. Sorry, I used the word “sappy” in a sentence mentioning Manilow and that’s flat-out redundant. Anyway, if he was in any way referring to himself, he was woefully wrong. There was a time when I would have said that song should have been dedicated to Jimmy Webb. Webb wrote “Witchita Lineman”, “MacArthur Park”, Galveston”, “Up, Up and Away”, “The Worst That Could Happen”, “All I Know” and “By the Time I Get to Phoenix” among many others. I thought he pretty much had “best songwriter ever” wrapped up. But the other night I was surfing youtube for 3 Dog Night Videos because I lead a very exciting life. While reading the info sidebar on “Eli’s Coming”, I see that it was written by a woman named Laura Nyro. Turns out she also wrote “And When I Die” (at age 17, no less), “Stone Soul Picnic” and “Wedding Bell Blues”. Her list of hits is a little shorter than Webb’s, but where she really outshined him was in performing. Webb’s voice isn’t offensive by any means, but he’s just not as dynamic as Laura Nyro was. Yes, the past tense; she died in 1997 at age 49 of ovarian cancer. I’m not going to post a video of Jimmy Webb performing. If you like any of his songs that I mentioned and want to hear him do his version, there’s some on youtube; indulge your own masochistic tendencies. Here’s Laura Nyro, though, performing her song “Poverty Train” at The Monterey Pop Festival in 1967:

In non-music news: Dear Jay Leno, you are the singularly most non-funny person that I have ever seen doing comedy for a living. As long as it doesn’t involve sucking dick amazingly well, how’d you pull that off?


FULL ALBUM STREAM: Existence is Futile by Revocation


The more I listen the more I think this is going to be my favorite album this year. You can stream Existence is Futile in its entirety by clicking here.


Alice In Chains stream Black Gives Way To Blue


The entire album is streaming on the band’s official website. Click here to listen. Black Gives Way to Blue is out next week!


Those Crazy Danes!

I got a press release this morning with a cool video attached to it from a band called Kashmir. Apparently these guys are fucking Gods in Europe (Denmark to be exact) and they’re looking to make a splash in America. They’re releasing a digital only EP titled Petite Machine on September 22nd in the States and there are plans to release another in January..and that one has a David Bowie collab. “Surfing the Warm Industry” is the first single off of Petite Machine. The video is about a whore who sleeps her way to the top! Animated whores!! Hit the jump for the full bio!

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Classic Rock Defined

I write about this stuff every week so I might as well lay out something about what I consider it to be. I think it really goes on a song-by-song basis; artists like Neil Young have certainly done songs which are now classified as classic rock, but don’t stay within that genre. I think it’s limited to a certain time period, too. It starts in the mid to late 60’s and ends whenever the Tom Petty album with the track “Mary Jane’s Last Dance” dropped. A prominent guitar solo MUST be part of it. If the song is about missing a lover, or a lover leaving you or otherwise doing you wrong, then all the better. If I had to think of a band which fit this bill, I’d go with Badfinger. Judging from the videos, I guess I should add polyester to the criteria, too.


The Week in Metallica

When it’s a slow news day, I know I can appease the Suck My Rock team with a little Metallica Recap, and this week sure was Metallicalicious.


Weezer celebrated the 18th anniversary of their first single “Undone – The Sweater Song” and this time, they really undid it. Rivers admitted to Rolling Stone that the song is a rip off of Metallica’s ‘Welcome Home (Sanitarium)’ and that they were trying to be cool like Velvet Underground but couldn’t escape how metal they were. When they wrote a song about sweaters. Yep.

Jim Breuer sat down for a rare interview with Metallica back in February, but since he’s such a stoner, the video didn’t get uploaded… until now.

In some British radio poll, Metallica’s “Enter Sandman” was voted the #1 track. Just another boring day bein’ Metallica.

Slayer’s Kerry King (of gossip) started some rumor about a quadruple bill featuring Metallica, Megadeth, Slayer and Anthrax. He heard it from someone who heard it from someone who heard it from Lars who might be retarded anyway.

Metalheads went apeshit when they found out that apes stop going apeshit when you play Metallica. Shit is like Xanax for monkeys (or, wait, maybe not).



Kurt Cobain Does Bon Jovi

The skeleton drummer is rolling in his grave too…


Andrew WK Still Parties, Sans Vocals and Riffs

In fall of 2001, I was a freshman at a liberal arts school in Boston, swapping Spin for CMJ and learning the fine art of “college music” from the good book of Thurston Moore. Then, like a bloody party Jesus from the heavens, along came Andrew WK to save me from my pity party:


Always cheesy, never subtle, and maybe akin to what you’d find on Jock Jams, at first glance AWK conjures little more than a WTF. But beneath the mangy surface lies much more: high energy hedonism, pop melodies, and genuine POSITIVITY… rare in pop and rock these days and non-existent in what we were listening to back then.

Anyway, AWK is back, sort of, with “55 Cadillac,” a new album of what he calls “spontaneous solo piano improvisations.” You can hear “Central Park Cruiser” on now. It’s piano. It’s not rock. It’s out Sept. 8th. And wouldn’t ya know… it’s being released by Thurston Moore’s label.

What’s the opposite of “selling out”?

July 2020

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