Suck it hard and deep.

WTF

Greg — Fri, 29 Jan 2010 00:06:43 +0000

This is a song called Hocus Pocus by a Dutch band called Focus. I never knew quite what to make of this song when it came out and watching the video hasn’t shed any light on the subject. One thing I do know is that regardless of what the marijuana laws were in the Netherlands in 1971, these dudes were smoking SOMETHING.

dr. john > rammstein, part deux

Greg — Sun, 13 Dec 2009 04:04:02 +0000

It’s creepy, it’s a trip and it’s way better than Rammstein. It’s also over 5 minutes long. I realize this is about 4:50 past your attention span, but do yourself a favor and watch it.

Mastodon’s “Obllivion” piano cover

alfonso zayas — Mon, 07 Dec 2009 18:46:44 +0000

Spotted this over at Metal Sucks. It’s not bad at all, but I haven’t gotten to the guitar solo yet.

adventures in IM’s with alfonso and uncle reg

Greg — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 05:02:12 +0000

I kind of despise those soul-less note machines Steve Vai and Ingwie Maalmsteen. Read all about it:

uncle reg (10:24:25 PM): fuck steve vai

uncle reg (10:24:38 PM): vai will NEVER play like that

uncle reg (10:25:19 PM): stevie dedicated that to everyone suffering

uncle reg (10:25:26 PM): i think he meant vai fans

alfonso zayas (10:29:26 PM): hahahahhahahaha

alfonso zayas (10:29:57 PM): did you say SRV was your fave?

uncle reg (10:31:37 PM): favorite guitar player, yes

alfonso zayas (10:31:53 PM): yes

uncle reg (10:32:28 PM): vai would watch the part @ 2:40 and wonder why he wasn’t playing 8,000 notes

alfonso zayas (10:32:41 PM): HAHAHAHA

uncle reg (10:32:54 PM): and then he’d go into shock when he saw SRV give the solo to the keyboard player

alfonso zayas (10:33:51 PM): HAHAHA

alfonso zayas (10:34:13 PM): i didnt even realize the keyboard player was rockin

alfonso zayas (10:34:14 PM): holy shit

alfonso zayas (10:34:15 PM): hahaha

uncle reg (10:35:20 PM): check out the look on SRV’s face at the very end

uncle reg (10:35:35 PM): when he looks up right after he finishes

alfonso zayas (10:37:57 PM): alright

alfonso zayas (10:38:12 PM): hahahahahah

uncle reg (10:38:48 PM): he knew they just KILLED it

uncle reg (10:39:52 PM): even so, i don’t wish vai and SRV had traded places on that chopper

uncle reg (10:39:58 PM): malmsteen, though…

uncle reg (10:40:20 PM): fuck that fat scandinavian bastard

alfonso zayas (10:41:01 PM): HAHAHAHAHAH

uncle reg (10:43:00 PM): 5 seconds after this was taken, he is demonstrating he can suck cock and suck at guitar at the same time

alfonso zayas (10:43:18 PM): hahahah

alfonso zayas (10:43:24 PM): oh malmsteen

alfonso zayas (10:43:29 PM): no homo

Sorry, Barry.

Greg — Tue, 17 Nov 2009 23:28:36 +0000

I’d like to apologize to Barry Manilow for taking a shot at him a few posts back. I just listened to his song “Could It Be Magic?” and found the intro quite pleasing.

Oh wait. Found out that intro was based on “Prelude in C Minor” by Chopin. Nevermind. Also turns out that his other hit “I Write the Songs” wasn’t written by him. I love the irony of that, but please continue sucking it, Barry.

Steven Tyler starring in his own real-life remake of “grumpy old men”!

Greg — Tue, 10 Nov 2009 23:49:22 +0000

So unless you’ve been either living under a rock or don’t give a shit (i fall under the latter category), you’ve no doubt heard Steven Tyler quit Aerosmith. His now former bandmates heard about it over the internet. FAUX PAS Steven! We know you’re old, but you should still remember your break-up etiquette. I now have a theory that his previous 2 accidents were no accident at all. He knew an actual break-up would be ugly and awkward so he tried to end it. Watch the video and decide for yourself!

Suck it, Barry Manilow

Greg — Tue, 10 Nov 2009 11:08:15 +0000

Barry Manilow once did a sappy song called “I Write the Songs”. Sorry, I used the word “sappy” in a sentence mentioning Manilow and that’s flat-out redundant. Anyway, if he was in any way referring to himself, he was woefully wrong. There was a time when I would have said that song should have been dedicated to Jimmy Webb. Webb wrote “Witchita Lineman”, “MacArthur Park”, Galveston”, “Up, Up and Away”, “The Worst That Could Happen”, “All I Know” and “By the Time I Get to Phoenix” among many others. I thought he pretty much had “best songwriter ever” wrapped up. But the other night I was surfing youtube for 3 Dog Night Videos because I lead a very exciting life. While reading the info sidebar on “Eli’s Coming”, I see that it was written by a woman named Laura Nyro. Turns out she also wrote “And When I Die” (at age 17, no less), “Stone Soul Picnic” and “Wedding Bell Blues”. Her list of hits is a little shorter than Webb’s, but where she really outshined him was in performing. Webb’s voice isn’t offensive by any means, but he’s just not as dynamic as Laura Nyro was. Yes, the past tense; she died in 1997 at age 49 of ovarian cancer. I’m not going to post a video of Jimmy Webb performing. If you like any of his songs that I mentioned and want to hear him do his version, there’s some on youtube; indulge your own masochistic tendencies. Here’s Laura Nyro, though, performing her song “Poverty Train” at The Monterey Pop Festival in 1967:

In non-music news: Dear Jay Leno, you are the singularly most non-funny person that I have ever seen doing comedy for a living. As long as it doesn’t involve sucking dick amazingly well, how’d you pull that off?

stoner music: the classic rock all-time greats

Greg — Fri, 30 Oct 2009 02:44:17 +0000

I don’t smoke up anymore, but I remember many a night spent staring into space with “The Tomita Planets” playing in the background. I’d say some of the factors to be be considered when determining if a song is stoner music are track length (longer is better), obscurity/depth of lyrics and whether the music has an ethereal quality to it (or a repetitive riff in there somewhere). Here’s a list of what I wuold say are the top 5 stoner classic rock songs. Or at least the top 5 I can think of at the moment (Videos for 2 through 5 after the jump).

5. Traffic: Dear Mr. Fantasy

4. America: Horse With No Name

3. The Grateful Dead: Wharf Rat

2. Traffic: Low Spark of High-Heeled Boys

1. The Doors: The End

Traffic: Dear Mr. Fantasy

America: Horse Wth No Name

The Grateful Dead: Wharf Rat

Traffic: Low Spark of High-Heeled Boys

Even More Cowbell!

Greg — Sat, 24 Oct 2009 06:33:01 +0000

This isn’t really about the cowbell, this is really another installment of “dumb shit record companies do”. In the early 60′s, there was a folk band comprised of a group of brothers. By brothers, I mean siblings. Coincidentally, they were black, so I guess you could go either way on that, you racist. Anyway, they started out as a folk group. Pretty natural, considering they grew up singing in a Baptist church. In the mid 60′s, they shifted to doing electric music like many other folk performers were, dabbling in both R&B and Psychedelia. They got offers to sign with numerous record companies, but accepted an offer from Columbia. In 1966, they wrote a really cool song and wanted to record it. Columbia president Clive Davis refused, saying they didn’t record that kind of music but offered to find a white group to record it for them. Apparently, execs thought they were being “uppity” after hearing the song, as it’s an actual intelligent commentary on the state of things at that point in history. They recorded it anyway, but Columbia still refused to release it. For 2 years, they played it at their live shows and it became the centerpiece of their reportoire. Finally, in 1968 they scored a minor hit and Columbia gave them the green light to re-record the cool song. The single peaked at #11 on Billboard;s pop list, the album at #4. It’s been used extensively in soundtracks for both film and television. The group was The Chambers Brothers and the song is “Time Has Come Today”. I highly recommend picking up the 11:06 album track, but here’s an extremely abbreviated version of it from the Ed Sullivan Show.

And a bonus! An awesome 1983 cover by The Ramones:

On the road!

alfonso zayas — Tue, 20 Oct 2009 21:25:47 +0000

My sincerest apologies to those who read this site on a regular basis. We’re all pretty busy around these parts and the last few weeks have been hell for me especially. I’ve taken some odd jobs that have required me to travel the Western United States. While doing so I picked up some CDs, and here’s a little blurb on each of them..

Hatebreed’s latest – I don’t even know the name of it, however, I don’t seem to mind. Save your money, folks. I found this album to be an absolute bore. It felt like Jamey Jasta was done making music for artistic purposes and just decided to rake in a few bucks. I know lots of musicians are on that side of the spectrum these days, but the feeling was almost instant when I popped the cd in. Aside from that, there’s a cover of Metallica’s “Escape” as a bonus track which I have considered the worst cover of all time.

Megadeth’s Endgame – I understand that the days of the “classic” lineup are over and the band hasn’t released anything amazing since the 90′s, but, this album was surprisingly entertaining. Not once on my drive to Boise did I skip a song. There’s plenty of great riffs and solos on this album to keep you air guitaring in your car. Don’t pay attention to lyrics. They’re terrible.

Revocation’s Existence is Futile – Holy motherfucker. The hype from Invisible Oranges was enough for me to seek this one out. I traveled to several record stores looking for it, and finally found it in Salt Lake City. I listened to this one several several times through, back to back. It’s just that good. David Davidson’s guitar work is really some of the most refreshing I’ve heard in some time. I can’t do this one justice, buy the album.

Baroness Blue Record - After many listens I decided that this is easily one of my favorite albums this year. I forget about good music in an attempt to discover the most brutal, heavy shit that I can. All that “metal” shit aside, this is just a fucking phenomenal rock record. A perfect album to chill and burn a fat one to.